“When I was 17….I did what people told me”. You may not remember the song (chances are you do though), but you probably know who sang this famous line about 15 years ago….Janet Jackson. By now, I’m sure those that have followed my blog know that I like to relate a lot of things to music. Ironically, “Control” turned out to be one of her biggest hits right around the same time she did just that with her music career. There are times when control is a good thing….determining a direction for your life, showing assertiveness on a group project for school or work and having self-control to resist certain things. But what is so special about control, that we often think it’s something we can’t let go of? Here are a few reasons why control can turn disastrous….if we let it.
- We Don’t Want To Look Weak- I think this one applies to men more than women. Somewhere along the way I think some guys (or people) in general confused confidence and a strong personality for control. I’ve heard some women say that an overly jealous man is him showing that he loves you (these crickets are chirping so loudly behind me). No. That just means he’s overly jealous. There’s a difference.
- Fear of the Unknown- I’ll put myself out there on this one. This is definitely one I’ m guilty of at times. Why is it that we think that knowing our next move in life means that we can control it? Definitely not the case. No matter how much we know, there’s even more that we don’t know. Sometimes we just have to embrace the unknown and move on.
- Our Way or No Way- Sometimes we control the situation just because we hate to compromise. Remember the see- saws you used to play on when you were a kid? That’s kinda how life is. No one will always be up. No one will always be down. There’s a give and take that we all must submit to at some point in our lives. And as much as we desire for things to be evenly balanced at all times, it doesn’t always work out that way.
- That’s All We’re Used To- Some of us are controlling just because we grew up with manipulative or controlling parents, were stuck in an abusive (and controlling) relationship or feel subservient to others in some form or fashion. So in a life that seems like there’s no control over anything, some of us tend to control what we think we can.
Is there something we’re holding on to so desperately that we really should let go of? Are we scared of the unknown and as a result only placing ourselves in situations where we can create the outcome. Am I saying throw all of your control to the wind and just live with no boundaries or expectations? NO!!! But at some point too much control becomes a little poisonous, don’t you think? There’s only one person who’s really in control and that’s God. Why try to do his job for Him?