Individuating: In The Thick Of It

I recently wrapped up season 2 of the Spike Lee produced Netflix series, She’s Gotta Have It. The show is loosely based on his 1986 film of the same name. Nola Darling is a struggling artist who simultaneously dates several people in the midst of finding herself. Each of her lovers cater to a different facet of her personality. Honestly, I feel like I watched this season too quickly because there were so many nuggets to digest.

However, one of the standout moments for me came from Estelle, who plays Nola’s therapist. She mentions that she hasn’t seen Nola in a while and suspects she is in the thick of it. Specifically, she calls it her “individuating” process. I can relate to some of Nola’s struggles of not wanting to compromise her art for the masses, learning how to move forward from lessons in love and most importantly, listening to her own voice.

How many times have you found yourself going against your gut feeling because someone advised you otherwise? Or what happens when voices are muffled by all of the other well meaning chatter and distracting noise around us? It’s all more than enough to feel defeated and confused. One of the biggest lessons I learned from season 2 of She’s Gotta Have It is to find the beauty of the “individuating” process. Like Nola, none of us have it all figured out and we all must walk through it…….individually. That’s where the growth happens.

Nothin’ But A ‘G’ Thing (Taste This)

So, if you’ve been following my last couple of blogs, you know I was recently diagnosed with gout. I typically post about drink reviews on Thursdays and today will be no different. However, this drink is likely one that you will not want to taste. The best things in life for us often don’t taste good to us.

Let’s talk about medicine before we get into this week’s Thirsty Thursday feature. The doctor initially prescribed me with indomethacin. Never heard of it? Don’t worry. Neither had I until recently. I don’t like taking medicine because it usually causes some other ailment that you didn’t have before. True to form, long term use of indomethacin can cause stomach ulcers. Even if you take it without eating a substantial amount of food, it can cause you to have an upset stomach. Needless to say, I had to find another option than continuing to take these pills.

Commercial medicine is all about making money in my opinion. So, I don’t always take what doctors say for face value. One time, I took some medicine from a certain doctor for back pain. Within the first few days, my face broke out into an ugly rash all because I was unknowingly allergic to amoxicillin. The doctor had the audacity to deny that I was allergic to the medication. Another doctor tried to prescribe me with a head drug, similar to Prozac. His rationale was it also doubles as a great remedy for back pain and inflammation. No thanks, Doc. I’ll keep the pain.

I believe that God always sends us help, but we just have to pay attention to it. A guy at the gym noticed I was hobbling around and shared his gout story with me. Again, I was feeling defeated that I was even having this conversation. But, I digress. He told me to try a mixture of warm water, apple cider vinegar, black pepper, fresh ground turmeric and lime juice. It’s nasty. Really nasty. I drink it everyday though because it’s a natural remedy for inflammation. Tart cherry juice is another drink that helps fight off inflammation. I’m currently drinking both.

Bottoms up! It’s Thirsty Thursday. What are some of your tried and true home remedy drinks?

How I Became A (Semi) Vegetarian…By Default

Last week I disclosed my surprising diagnosis that was based on some excruciating pain in my right toe. Yep, you guessed it (or maybe you didn’t). Gout! Please say it ain’t so. I thought I had to be well into my 50s, eat pork chops and steaks before I could ever see this happening to me. Little did I know how wrong I was about to be.

I sat in the empty room at the urgent care, as the doctor handed me a four page packet of papers to review. “You’ll need to look over this and follow the diet,” she said.

“Oh, I should be good. I don’t eat a lot of pork and beef anyway,” I rebutted.

She smiled back at me as if to say, “Oh, you poor, ignorant soul”. “There are many other things you will need to avoid besides that. Seafood, alcohol and some other things you’ll find on the list too.

Wait a minute. Seafood??? This couldn’t be right. Oh, but it was. Anybody that knows me will tell you that I love shrimp, crabs, crawfish, etc. All of these things are not the best for gout. Then, no alcohol too?! I’m no lush, but I do enjoy a good drink every now and then.

Basically, if you have gout, you should eat nearly all meats very sparingly. Chicken (specifically skinless thigh/leg meat) is best and salmon isn’t bad either. With gout, you have to stay away from purine rich foods, which include most meats, some beans (lentils, black eyed peas, etc) and even cauliflower. However, the biggest source of purines typically comes from meat…..which is why I only eat it once a day now, if even then.

Alcohol is a tricky one because it doesn’t have purines, but it does inhibit your body from filtering uric acid well. The uric acid build up is what causes the inflammation (and subsequently the pain) you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy….or at least, I hope not.

Thanks to the modifications in my diet, I haven’t had another episode since the initial one. I did take medication for a short while, but then got off of it. Look out for this week’s Thirsty Thursday for a home remedy drink that works wonders for fighting inflammation!

Who Stepped On My Toe?!

I’ll never forget it. It was the night of April Fool’s. I wish the pain I felt that day was a joke, but it was all real. I remember laying in bed around 10:00 pm and feeling this burning sensation on the side of my right big toe. As tired as I was, sleep was suddenly not an option. The pain intensified. The feeling escalated until it felt like someone struck a match inside my big toe.

I had never experienced anything like this before. So, I decided that maybe it was a pulled muscle from a cross fit class I did a few days prior. I got out the bed and tried to walk it out. The pain intensified. My toe began to throb. What the hell was going on? My toe was the same color and size as normal but I was in excruciating pain.

Fast forward to Wednesday of that same week. The pain had lessened that day, but by nightfall it was in full swing. I had the bright idea of taking an Epsom salt bath to help soak my foot. That had to work. Epsom salt cures everything, right? Wrong. Now, the pain was even worse. So bad to the point that I had to crawl out of the tub. Don’t tell anybody, but I may have even shed a tear.

This feeling was not right. So, I hobbled down the steps and drove myself to an urgent care facility. The lady at the front desk was very nice, despite her struggle trying to hide her chuckle. I guess I probably did look funny hobbling in there with all my weight on my left foot. As soon as I went in the room to see the doctor, she said. I never thought I would hear this four letter word in relation to my health: Gout! Now, the burning sensation and the pain in my big toe (where most gout symptoms start) made sense.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog, detailing my next steps and all the misconceptions I learned about this condition.

Why Usher’s ‘Confessions’ Still Matters 15 Years Later

Confessions are good for the soul. The early 2000s were a peculiar time in R&B music. We were just coming down from the tidal wave of 90s heavyweights and trying to find our footing for the new millennium. Usher is one of the artists that set the tone for the rest of the decade. Confessions, his most successful album to date, turns 15 years old this year.

Why was this album such a success? Well, for starters, his public breakup with TLC’s Chilli couldn’t have come at a better time. Everyone thought the album was about her, but Jermaine Dupri later revealed it was his personal story. Nevertheless, bad press is good press in the entertainment industry. Plus, the music backed up the controversy.

Lead by the hit single, “Yeah!” featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris, Usher sealed his biggest club crossover #1 hit. The song still gets any party jumping today. Oh and then there’s “Burn”, the soundtrack of heartbreak. That song almost made you want to get in a relationship and break up just to experience the feeling.

Usher effortlessly glided into pop music territory with the Pharrell produced, “Caught Up”. The song cleverly blended elements of Hip Hop, R&B, Rock and Pop with an undeniable swag. However, there were some album cuts that also missed their shine as singles. Songs like “That’s What It’s Made For” and “Superstar” were much more than mere album fillers.

Confessions was a movie in audible form. All the exciting elements of love were there: sex, passion, infatuation, infidelity and of course, heartbreak. The album entered right on the cusp of the social media wave and sold 10 million copies (actual CDs, not streams), bringing it to RIAA Diamond status. There aren’t really any artists moving these types of numbers in traditional sales and streams combined.

The undeniable musical chemistry between Usher and Jermaine Dupri (who produced the majority of the album), his public breakup headlines and relatable subject matter proved to be a winning formula for a hit album. Even Usher hasn’t topped himself since then. Now, 15 years later, it’s still one of the best albums we’ve heard in quite some time.

So, what were some of your favorite tracks from Confessions?

P!nk Shows Off Her Human Side

P!nk returns with her eighth studio album

P!nk has had quite an illustrious career. Her music has sold over 40 million albums and 50 million singles worldwide. As she approaches the 20 year mark since her debut album, she shows no signs of slowing down. If you’ve never seen her live in concert, you are truly missing out. Her acrobatics are unlike anything I’ve ever seen a performer do in a live show. Plus, she actually sings (not lip syncs) through it all.

“Walk Me Home”, the first single lifted from her new album, Hurts 2B Human, has an adult pop sound with soaring vocals from the daring songstress. P!nk then flips back to her bad girl side on the feisty, early 2000s reminiscent, “Hustle”. She’s too smart for the childish games here and refuses to be mistaken for a dummy.

There are only a couple slight missteps on Hurts 2B Human. The short-lived auto-tune on “(Hey Why) Miss You Sometime” seem oft putting for an artist of P!nk’s vocal caliber. Otherwise the song is a nice uptempo inclusion on the album. Nonetheless, the beautifully vulnerable “My Attic” proves why P!nk has had such longevity in the music industry.

P!nk brings on a few more guest collaborators than usual. The poignant duet with Wrabel blends together two astounding voices very well. I expect this one to be a big single from the album. Khalid offers some R&B flavor on the title track, “Hurts 2B Human”. Cash Cash stops by on the incredibly sugary pop track, “Can We Pretend”.

Songs like the bare bones “Happy” and “Love Me Anyway” featuring Chris Stapleton (expect this one to be a big wedding song this year) suggest that P!nk would have much success with an acoustic album. Perhaps that will be her next move. She definitely has the pipes and the lyrical talent to pull it off well.

Hurts 2B Human showcases a couple of dimensions that fans love about P!nk. The album has a bit of some throwback early millennium undertones that were wildly popular when she first debuted. I’m not sure if that was the sound she was going for. Regardless, it’s a refreshingly sober feeling to have some new music from one of music’s most intriguing artists.

5 Reasons Why You Should Love Lizzo

Lizzo has been making waves in the music industry for a few years now, with previous albums/EPs Coconut Oil and Big Grrrl Small World. Her image is just as in-your-face as her sound is. For instance, she recently landed a Playboy shoot as one of only two plus size women to ever be featured in the magazine. The concept of her music self love and having no self control when it comes to speaking her mind.

Now, her new album, Cuz I Love You, is out and she just might finally get the recognition she deserves. Here are 5 reasons why you should love her new album and her whole aura as an entertainer.

She knows how to change up the tempo of social norms. Perhaps you’ve heard her female empowerment anthems like “Good as Hell” on TV shows or movies. However, her new single, “Tempo” changes up the pace for dance anthems. She proclaims that she needs a faster tempo to compliment her size. As if the song wasn’t already cool enough, Missy Elliott comes by to celebrate and shake up the party with her.

Lizzo is all about loving herself. Although similar themes of girl power have been explored before, Lizzo makes it tangible. Take “Soulmate” for instance. She sings just as fluently as she raps here on one of Cuz I Love You’s stand out tracks about being in love with yourself. Lizzo makes it clear that her existence doesn’t rely on her relationship status.

She has an infectious old soul. The album’s title track and “Jerome” have a bluesy backbone that would make Etta James proud. Lizzo has an impressive knack for delivering comical, witty and soulful lyrics whether she’s rapping or belting out a tune. She comes across as that friend that has somehow been here before.

Her sound gets bolder with time. Lizzo has never been one to necessarily bite her tongue. However, the trajectory of her career has found the rap-singer be more risque. Even her vocals are less tame and more unruly this time around. Thankfully, the sound suits her well and it’s a direction she should continue to travel in.

She’s leading her own body positivity movement. Even if you’ve never heard Lizzo’s music before, the album cover for Cuz I Love You lets you know she’s not shy. She’s sitting nude, crossed legged and wearing only a piercing stare that leaps out of the photo. She’s not afraid to put herself out there to influence others to be more open minded about body image.

So, you still haven’t heard Cuz I Love You yet? Seriously, what are you waiting for? Expect this to be one of the most talked about albums of the spring and beyond. Lizzo solidifies the fact that she’s here to stay and doing it all on her own terms.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0hsHxuSk1I

How Beyonce’s ‘Homecoming’ Has Changed The Live Album Concept

April 17, 2019 is a hump day that will not soon be forgotten. Just as Ariana Grande fans were dubbing this year’s Coachella celebration “Arichella”, in comes Beyonce. She swooped in unexpectedly….well, let’s be real. We expected it sometime very soon. The juggernaut that is Beyonce made headlines last year as the first African American woman to headline the Coachella festival. Oh and did she make it a headlining show to remember.

Homecoming, the Netflix documentary and its accompanying live album dropped today. As usual, the Internet was shook. At this point, a surprise album from Beyonce or (any artist for that matter) has lost some of its sting. Nonetheless, the documentary is a carefully spliced rundown of the entire show. The clips highlight both of her show stopping performances during last year’s Coachella weekends. The docu-style camera work was a bit much for me at some points, but overall it was worth it. Don’t misunderstand it. The highlight here was seeing the phenomenal performance again, not the behind the scenes elements that we likely could have guessed ourselves.

The larger conversation here is how Beyonce has once again ushered in a new era of how fans interact with music. With Homecoming, it’s a case of live music interaction. She has brought the Coachella experience to the eyes and ears of fans all across the world. Of course, she’s going to pocket a large chunk of change from it too. Will live Coachella albums be the standard now for headlining artists? Will Beyonce’s end goal of paying homage to African American culture see more diversity in the headlining artist lineup for Coachella in the future? Could this stir up a Grammy nomination in the category of Best Music Film for Beyonce? Time will tell.

Whatever the case, Beyonce has successfully frozen a pinnacle moment of her career in time. Plus, she has elongated its impact for the remainder of the year and likely well into 2020. Artists will now have to come harder than releasing live album recordings from their sold out Madison Square Garden performances.

Everything Is Peachy King With Crown Royal

Is it just me or is whiskey the new black? In addition, more establishments and drink labels are introducing flavors to their whiskey. Seems like a no-brainer type of idea. So, imagine my enthusiasm before I tried Crown Royal Peach. I tried not to get my expectations up too high (to avoid being potentially let down). Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy the apple flavor of Crown Royal as well. My only complaint is that it’s a tad bit too sweet.

Aren’t peaches sweeter than apples though? Oh well, I decided to go for it and try out the new drink. I must say, it tastes amazing. I instantly favored it over Crown Royal Apple. The Canadian whiskey brand had gotten it right. This drink captures the crisp, sweetness of a peach without any aftertaste or overpowering flavor. I even added it to a few hot totties when I made to get over a cold last week.

Although it’s something I could sip on year round, the flavors definitely put you in a summer state of mind. Honestly, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend mixing the drink with any other robust flavors. Crown Royal Peach stands on its well. If you’re into whiskey (as increasingly more people seem to be) and you don’t mind a little flavor added to it, this one is for you.

Bottoms up…..it’s Thirsty Thursday!

The Final Chapter: When The Cookie Crumbles.

On January 1, 2014, I started writing my first novel, Fortune Cookie. I previously never wanted to write a novel. I was just fine with poetry. Fortune Cookie took me almost exactly one year to write. Since it’s release in 2015, it has gone on to be my most successful book to date. Who knew that story would evolve into a trilogy of novels (No Cream in the Middle and the new book, When the Cookie Crumbles)?

In case you haven’t read the books, here’s a short synopsis of each one.

Fortune Cookie is about two sisters, Cookie and Chelsea, who have lived with their own private secret for 10 years. Fast forward to present day and their secret is out…..right before Cookie’s wedding. Their lives and everyone around them are instantly in jeopardy.

No Cream in the Middle is all about the aftermath of the secret being revealed. Cookie and Chelsea find themselves having to do some major rebuilding. However, their sisterly bond starts to splinter as Chelsea harbors her own dark secrets that not even Cookie is aware of.

When the Cookie Crumbles is the final chapter of the series. This time, the focus is on Cookie’s husband, Ken. He is previously referred to as the perfect catch, but he’s got a dirty secret of his own. Cookie is faced with a dilemma of sticking by her husband or letting go of the love of her life.

When the Cookie Crumbles is actually available now, for presale through April 14th. The official release date is April 15th. Karma has come to collect. Don’t miss out on this series and get your copy of the final chapter of Cookie’s saga HERE. Plus, get my new If These Thoughts Could Talk t-shirt (inspired by my book, Eleven: Things We Never Said) for a limited time bundle deal HERE, until April 14th as well.

For those that have already completed the series, let me know what you think! Although this is the end of this novel series, I am working on three other novels, including a collaborative work with author Akela Renae. Stay tuned!